But with unspoken expectations, it can get big and serious quickly. Natalie didn’t know that because I didn’t say it. I had never said I wanted Natalie to buy me a drink and snack I had assumed she would. What really went wrong here was an unspoken expectation. Actually, the next two days were ruined, because that’s how long it took us to get over being mad at each other. I grabbed her doughnut and chunked it out the window, then put the van in gear and blew out of the parking lot. It’s like I blacked out and the next thing I knew, she took a bite of her doughnut.

I watched as she took long sips of her “selfish” tea. When Natalie got back in the car, I was fuming.

To make matters worse, her drink was sweet tea-a drink I don’t even like. Although I never asked Natalie to buy me a drink, I’d been sure she would since we’d been talking about how hot it was. Natalie said, “I’m gonna go get something to drink.”Ī couple minutes later, Natalie walked out of the QuikTrip with one cup and one doughnut. We pulled into QuikTrip, and I jumped out to pump the gas. “What really went wrong here was an unspoken expectation.” We decided we would go to QuikTrip to get gas. It was really hot that day, and we were talking about it. We didn’t have much money then, and we were driving a van without air conditioning. Just after Natalie and I got married, we were going out on a date. Then, if you don’t voice what you want, it robs the person of the opportunity to actually meet your expectation or your need. Maybe you feel like your husband or wife already knows what you want-but really, your spouse might not. When you don’t speak your expectation from the beginning, you are setting up yourself and your spouse to fail.

Let me give you two ways to do exactly that. You want to disagree in a way that strengthens your unity without leaving scars. It can even be a good thing if it gets differences out in the open and prevents secret resentment.īut you don’t want to stay in conflict. It’s a pleasure to welcome him to the front porch…Ĭonflict is gonna happen in marriage and other close relationships. In the years since then, Michael and Natalie have forged a remarkable union-complete with fire, pressure, and beauty - and their sermon series, Relationship Goals - has been viewed by more than 6 million people! Michael brings us back to the truest truths of our relationships in today’s post. Michael Todd met his future wife at a mutual friend’s birthday party at a rec center when he was fifteen and she was fourteen. I’ve spent the week leaning right in to learn from our black brothers and sisters and this couple? I’m telling you: Relationship Goals. Okay, circle up, family: You absolutely can’t miss this, for real.

Michael todd marriage